When God closes a door, He opens another

Tomorrow is the Feast of St. Gabriel, namesake of our second child which is funny because yesterday was our little Gabriel's due date.  Having miscarried again a few months after miscarrying Gabriel, the past 6 months have been filled with lots of ups and downs.  Our 3rd child, though we never got the chance to hold the baby, we named Raphael since Gabriel and Raphael are both Archangels.  That one was hard in many different ways having only had 2 weeks to know I was carrying a baby and then never having any closure or anything tangible to hold on to.  However, a child is a human no matter how small or early in development, so we knew our baby needed a name.  It's been a rough road, but when God closes one door, He always opens another, and in this case that new door contains a new life.

After everything that's happened, we wouldn't normally be announcing this so soon, but I've had an ultrasound (on the Feast of St. Joseph!) which showed a good heartbeat and that everything looked ok.  I wasn't able to get on progesterone as soon as I should have, so there is some concern that it may have done irreversible damage already and I may still miscarry, but I'm supplementing now and chances are a lot better now that the ultrasound has shown us that everything looks fine.  This is a good opportunity to ask all of you for prayers, that all continues to go well and by the second trimester, I should be out of the woods.

Baby Bean, 7 weeks along

I have been going through much more morning sickness than with William and Gabriel, which is really good news since the more pregnancy symptoms, the better!  Restless legs at night, many many trips to the bathroom, nausea yet always hungry, fatigue, dizziness, feeling faint, heart racing, headaches, heartburn, you name it, I've got it. ;)  I never thought I would ever be so grateful to feel so crummy!  It's a comfort to me feeling this way, because I know my body is still responding to a pregnancy and it's also a way of offering something up for the well-being of this baby.  Lent is also a perfect time to be feeling this way!

It's funny, my sister had written a blog post about half way through Lent about having had all these plans for Lent and how she was going to make so much progress until many of her plans went out the window due to her husband unexpectedly having to travel for work, and life taking some abrupt turns.  She went on to say that she was learning that though she was unable to accomplish all that she had set out to do this Lent, God was giving her what He wanted her to do.  I feel very much the same way now since all my Lenten resolutions have pretty much disappeared with me being unable to do much, and being so limited on what my stomach will allow me to even think about, I eat whatever I can (which has basically been ginger beer and rice cakes since I'm still gluten intolerant).  

I have little energy to stick to a schedule and do basic household chores, and between the headaches and constant queasy feeling, I have trouble reading anything.  But it's made me come to the same conclusion as my sister.  Though I thought everything I had laid out for my plan for Lent this year was what I needed, God is now telling me what He needs from me.  I am learning to accept and surrender, as well as direct every queasy, dizzy, sometimes painful thought to God and remember how I can use all of this not only to help me progress on the path to Heaven, but also my husband and my children through offering it up for them.  

That is my new Lenten resolution; to accept whatever sufferings come my way with resignation, to surrender to the Will of God joyfully and with trust that this is what He wants from me, and to offer everything to Him to use as He will.

So, that the reason I haven't really been updating this blog.  Not much has been going on as I can't really get out to do anything.  But here are some videos of Little Mister for you all. :)

Daddy having more fun playing than William!

Daddy being very funny

Entertaining himself in the morning

Hope you all are off to a good start this Monday.  Another big Feast coming up on Wednesday, the Feast of the Annunciation (which is also my mother-in-law's birthday, so Happy [early] Birthday Angela! <3 ), so one more break to celebrate the feast before we go into Holy Week.  I hope everyone's Lent has been going well and you've been able to prepare well for Holy Week leading into Easter.

~Lindsay